Here We Go Again

The test is tomorrow, you must get a 100%. Anything lower, see me. Did you get to sort out the issue? Have you apologised yet? Did she see your text? Homework due tomorrow: did you forget? Miss is going to shout! What will your mum say about the detention? Are you falling asleep? What time did you go bed? Where’s your mask? Keep 2 metres away! Unfortunately, we have to ask Year 9 to stay home. Don’t forget your homework!

It’s all too much.

I need to press pause.

Breathe; in, out, again, slowly.

Slow down and Rewind.

I’m here - my pulse is beating. I’m able to learn. I’m able to understand some things, maybe not all. But Jamoi, you got this. When that bell rings I’ll be going home, yes home, be grateful you have a roof over your head and food on your plate. I have myself and what is more powerful than that? Than me? I am Jamoi, who can beat me? No one. Yes, Jamoi you can do this!

6:50 Bzz Bzz Bzz

         The dreadful sound of my alarm awaking me. Having to drag and pull myself out of my wonderful bed every Monday morning.

8:00 Lacing my shoes.

         Packing my bag.

         Off we go.

Oh wait, I forgot to tell you today is my chemistry test. I’ve been revising every day for this! You might be thinking don’t stress it’s not big of a deal, this is only your first term of Year 9. You only just started your GCSEs.

No, not in my mum’s eyes, anything under a grade 7 is a fail.

Sigh.

10:45 ‘You guys have 45 minutes for this test, no looking at other people’s paper or an automatic 0.’

‘Turn over your paper you can now start’

Flicking through the test page by page seeing nothing you revised, nothing you learnt, nothing you understand.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The sound of time passing replaces your heartbeat.

20 minutes left. 10 minutes left. 5 minutes left.

‘Pens down.’

Wait, no miss that’s not enough time.

‘Jamoi, you’re not special, pen down like everyone else’

3:15 The reality has hit me.

         That test will not give me a grade 7, nowhere close. I’ll be lucky if I get 7 marks. But what can I do? Nothing. It’s okay Jamoi, just breathe.

3:30 How did the test go? What do you think you’ll get? Make sure it’s up to my standards! No phone, no TV, no nothing. What did I tell you? This is embarrassing, Jamoi. Why can’t you learn to play a sport like your brother?

Ahh, here we go again...