This Solitary Night

This park – I sit quietly on this solitary night.

I am a moonchild; I would only hope to be just like that moon that sits upon those night skies in complete and utter solitude.

The stars, the constellations, I am in pure awe at this scenery. I am sat on the bench gazing at the view ahead of me. The ruins, the leftovers of what used to be an ancient monastic house: the abbey, founded over 1,400 years ago. What is left of it is saddening – only a few bricks from the outskirts of this mansion remain.  Just the sight of a red flower or a green tree can break the harshness of the grey concrete jungle that is London. Infront of me is a large field accompanied by ruins and a presence of trees and bushes that surround it. I am stood on an elevated piece of land and, as I enter through the gates of the park, I walk in just to be astonished by the beauty.

The moon is glaring down on me. That circular orb that patrols our skies is the sole saviour of the night. It brings me to a place of calm and tranquillity. There is something about the stars, the mystical royal blue skies, and the constellations that evoke an overwhelming ecstatic emotion, that almost makes me feel like I can conquer the world. When the moon rises, I feel powerful, like I can do anything, what is it about the moon that brings me to such euphoria? What is it about you that makes me feel like this?

I am a solitary soul – alone I stand, colossal and strong.

I am attracted to things that others are not. I am that book that sits on that solitary shelf that contains a story: my story. It is uninterpretable, the endless thoughts that surface.  My head is unlike anyone else’s, its secluded, chaotic up in there. So, I come here to clear my mind. Even though I am misunderstood by many, I know the moon above will always stand by my side; it will always rise every single night without fail. It will never bail on me. My mind has a severe hunger, a longing, a thirst for knowledge. I sit here under the stars and I read, I write, I think and I wonder. I have come to this destination in order to indulge in the thoughts that flood my mind. I have come to this park, this rural embodiment of peace and stillness in the middle of this busy city, to decipher the crazy thoughts that surface.

You can call me a romanticist, one who fantasises and dreams, one who loses themselves in literature and philosophy, one who is captivated with the idea of love and emotion – who is drawn by naturalistic dark blue skies and the constellations in the sky, especially that moon. I think I will always have a close relationship with the moon – to me it is just so blindingly beautiful. It stands companionless, solitary yet its strength is like none other. The night does not truly become itself without the presence of the moon. Its existence alone is so strong. The sapphire skies and the rustle of the autumnal leaves that are crispy and crackle to the touch. I am just one romantic who roams around this park in awe at the beauty of nature, the birds are singing a symphony – one part of a calming essence. I am once again reminded of the everlasting power of nature!

Every time I come here, I always wonder if only I will ever come across a similar mind to mine, I would just crave for the day that I find someone whose mind compliments my own. I hope I could find a book that is as out of this world as my own. Hopefully upon my future endeavours I meet another solitary mind like mine – an outcast, secluded because of their wild and awfully loud thoughts that spark wonder and curiosity just like mine. Hopefully, a companion will come my way. But until then I shall still embark on this journey as a lonely pilgrim who is continuously fascinated with learning and wants to figure out the true meaning of her life. I can only dream for a companion.

My heart and soul lie inside the indecipherable book that is the lonesome soul of mine. That soul that sits upon the bench in this park on this solitary night – she writes, she thinks, she wonders.

I have come here to not only to ponder but to write – I love it so much and my one and only dream is to become a writer. I write because I have these growing pains that live inside me, a shadow that continues to follow me, a mind filled with chaotic thoughts that cannot be contained.  I believe that a symphony of words can change one’s perception of the world. Words are my most powerful tool, they can change one’s outlook, one’s way of life. So, I shall continue to write because it’s my only way of expressing my tumultuous thoughts.

I am a lonely pilgrim – one who is not only searching for enlightenment but searching to find the true meaning of her life.  While I have embarked on this journey, I have begun to understand how we must appreciate nature. As I have sat here in serenity, I have learnt to cherish the stillness of the greenery that is stood in front of me. I have learnt to cherish the sound of chirping birds; I have learnt to treasure the fanciful trees that rustle in the wind and the miniature insects that lurk within them. It Is calm, it is harmonious.

This park brings me peace. The abbey brings me peace. Nature brings me peace.

My curiosity may seem strange to you; however, I find it ever so amazing. I am a born thinker, there is something so magnificent about learning - it is this that I love so much. I was born to be a curious soul and that I am not ashamed of. I shall continue to come to the Abbey Park as much as I possibly can – so I can think, so I can ponder, so I can write!

Tomorrow, once again, I shall sit quietly on this solitary night.

The stars, the constellations, I am in pure awe at this scenery. Sat on the bench gazing at the view ahead of me. That is me, the soul that sits upon the bench in this park on that solitary night – I write, I think, I wonder.

I am a moonchild; I would only desire to be just like that moon that sits in the hours of darkness in complete and utter solitude.

Photograph by a young storyteller.

Photograph by a young person.