This Judgemental World

What is the purpose of sharing a story? Does it even make a difference?

All I can say is that sharing your story, in whatever form, is a great way to reflect on what happened. You take the time to acknowledge everything that happened, how it made you feel, what you did, and the way this experience(s) influenced your present life.

'Finding similarities with other people helps us live happy and healthy lives. Your life may feel ordinary to you, but it might seem extraordinary to someone else. Every story shared is a chance to make someone feel less alone.’ (www.reachout.com)

Sharing your story will help them to realize that they aren't alone, that others have been in similar predicaments and made it out alive. Sometimes, that is all someone needs to get through a tough time. You can help even more with ideas and solutions for others to apply creatively to their own problems.

However, sometimes you might feel too weak to face your problems but when you read others' stories you know how they have made the change. So, you also learn and prepare yourself to be the change.

24/07/2019 - London, UK

It was a sunny day. The sun was literally shining and laughing above our head. Around 2:30pm we reached one of the UK’s airports called Stansted. It was quite busy and dirty as well. Hmmm… a new taste of a new country. Afterwards, we hired a car and the nature out the window was too beautiful so this and my tiredness made me fall asleep. Suddenly, I opened my eyes and found myself outside of my house around 4:30pm. We came in the summer vacation so we had to wait for a long time to go to school. During this holiday we have done lots of official work and yeah, we went to the park everyday as well just because it is right next to our house. However, we made new friends at the park. Well, my brother was able to go to school first before me but I went to school a bit later.

In year 8, my first day of school in the UK - I went to the school on Friday; it was quite hard and fun, I found some new friends, did PE but was sad for having a weekend right after one day. I went back for another week then got another week’s holiday. In the I school saw some violence but felt it was just because they are friends and took it as ‘normal’. But I never knew if it was serious and if it was going to come to me.

Well, I came back after a week and everyone started acting like they were meeting me as a new girl again. Ummmm… it was okay until I could see their real faces. One day I got judged because of my appearance as a Muslim and for wearing an ‘over-sized scarf’ on my head. Other days I got judged because of my accent and not speaking or understanding English well. Another day I got judged because of my IQ and being at a different stage in study than them. They started bullying me, judging me just because of the way I was. But I was not broken. I tried to be strong and okay. During this time some of my friends were beside me because they were going through the same situation as me. But I never told my parents of any negative thoughts about the school because they might report against the culprits so the bullies could pick on me even more. However, I did tell my teachers and some of them actually helped.

Something else that was not fair was when I moved down from my form because of getting low scores. I was new so it was quite hard for me to get on the same level as them at the same time. But I did not move backwards, I tried harder and harder to do the work to my best ability. Believe me, this time I was getting good marks and was going to shine in my future. Well, even my mates wanted help from me. Wow. I will always remember that when I asked them for help, they laughed as they knew everything but I didn’t mind it. Hmmm... I was so close to achieving my year 8 goals.

This terrible thing just stopped me in my tracks. ‘Lockdown, keeping 2 meters distancing, wearing masks, not going outside, not visiting relatives or not going to the school.’ Horrible!  I missed all of my family, friends and school. I love school, I don't hate studying as I know this is the key to my life’s success and my dreams. Ummm… During this pandemic situation I tried some new skills of study, tried to learn and speak in English better. I prayed to God, I tried even harder this time than before, because learning new skills are really important to move on to the next part of your studies. I tried to do online English, Maths, Science and searched for Geography and History. I was bored and anxious a bit about lockdown but while I'm good at art and craft, I did these to spend my time and went to the park as well because it is quite big so you can keep social distancing there without wearing a mask. Oh yeah, through writing this I remembered that I did PE and played lots of sports to become stronger. After a long time, Boris Johnson said that  schools were permitted to open. I felt as if I was the happiest girl when I heard this news but most of the students were happy to meet their friends again, not excited that much for their studies. I started my preparations, changing myself and promised myself that this time I won’t let myself to go down.

On Friday, 4th September all secondary schools opened. I went to school but this time, instead of bullying or judging me, they started staring at me. Do you want to know why? Because I changed myself, my appearance (changed my scarf), my voice and my study level. This time everyone was shocked and questioned me a lot about my changes: how? This time I didn't care about them. As before, they ignored me, now I don’t have time for them. But while I'm kind and honest, I always try to stay beside people and try to help them with anything. Because I don’t want to make someone feel what I went through. It is really hard to judge or bully people if you knew how you would feel by putting yourselves in their shoes.  Now I have changed, I am doing really well, getting higher levels in study, moving to upper sets, doing PE really well and this is why some people are really jealous. But I don't care because this is my life. Well, you see, to be the change I also removed my scarf which is a part of my religion but I took it back up again and I was more blessed for that. Well, I believed in myself, believed that I could do this. So, I knew that I can be the change.

Love yourself like life depends on it.   

Now… My opinion about all this…

I had to suffer a lot but I trusted myself that I can do it, so today I made it. So, you see how I have changed myself is just because sometimes we have to be the change to achieve something.  So, this is what you should always remember: ‘Life is a life, fight for it.’ (Mother Theresa) And don’t give up; try harder, do your best and be the change.